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Lately when people have been greeting me and asking how I’ve been doing, it often is answered for me before I can respond: I bet you’re busy. Or sometimes they lead me to it…Have you been busy? People say it like it’s a good thing and I can’t help but wonder, what’s so great about being busy?

To me, busy is just an answer that we’ve all been conditioned to say. The dictionary defines busy as: having a great deal to do; occupied with or concentrating on a particular activity or object of attention; full of activity; engaged. Okay, that actually sounds kind of good if you ask me. But I feel like busy is an easy response. It’s an excuse. It’s a simple word/way to gloss over what’s really going on. Why are we leaning on this cop-out term to define who and how we are?

I think it’s just part of being wrapped up in the rush. On top of our full time jobs, daily exercise, family time, relationship/kids/pets/etc, now we have an online presence, constant communication on social media, travel, more work, less sleep, healthy cooking, picture taking of what we’ve cooked, posting, liking, DIY’ing and a gazillion other things. So yea, we’re ‘busy.’ But I’m never too busy to spend time or energy on things (and people!) I value. I don’t want to be too ‘busy’ to slow down and communicate with you.

When people ask me how I’m doing, I want to say ‘I feel really positive today,’ or ‘I am a little tired so I’m looking forward to an early bed time tonight,’ or ‘I am so excited about this project I’m working on let me tell you…’ Yes, there’s a ton going on in all of our lives. Yes, time moves too fast. Yes, we (especially we So-Californians) are constantly in a hurry. But I’m not busy. I’m full and fantastic. And if you really want to know how I’ve been doing and why this huge smile is constantly on my face, I’d love to slow down for a few minutes and talk about it then listen to how and who you are too.

PINME

Sometimes you have to drop everything and be there for your friends, your family. Sometimes you have to let go of all that’s ‘important,’ and remind yourself what you really value. Sometimes you have to go back to the beginning and remember where you came from in order to move forward with who you really are.

I spent last week digging myself deeper than ever deep in the south. Like, you may be thinking biscuits and gravy and fried catfish and lush landscapes and hooch and humidity so thick you can see it hang off your skin. And you’re right. But I went even deeper. I went some six hundred miles and through some six thousand square feet and sorted and swept and saw a history of my life and my family I never had before. A little Southern state called Alabama. Where the beer only flows after noon and butter fed women instinctively flock like cornbread in Capistrano. (<-whoever got that reference please raise your hand)

I basically took a week off to travel around ‘bama and see family and help my dear Grammy. Because she needed me. But more so, I needed her. Sure I kept up with my work, put a few hours into the computer each day, because I’m Jackie Lovato. I can’t stop. But before and after those hours at my remote desk, I sat with my sweet Aunt, played with my little cousin, drove 10 hours to see another cousin I hadn’t seen since I was 10, I listened, lifted, packed and came to understand my family and its matriarch in an entirely new way. It’s hard living across the country from your family. It’s hard getting wrapped up in all that’s in front of you that you forget about all the support beneath you ’cause you don’t see it.

But my Grammy has supported me from the beginning. She would walk the halls of my young parents’ home, soothing my infant fears and tears. She would pray. She would send her positive thoughts and energy my way. And now it’s my turn. I’m working on soothing her fears and praying for her un-spilled tears and doing everything I can to support her as she walks towards the end of her hall. Because I remember. And I know what’s truly important. And I’m going to be there.

PINME