This was a letter I received from a dear friend today, and it touched me so deeply, I just had to share…
‘So I woke up at 5 am this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep obsessing about the things I want to change in 2011. It is New Years Eve and I’m now so tired I am not sure I can make it to midnight, and I realize this is a pattern I’ve been following for years and I have been way too harsh on myself. I know that we all do this to ourselves, so I decided to share these feelings with the women in my life as a New Years message, in hopes that maybe it will hit home with one or two of you. Here it goes.
Once and for all, let’s stop putting so much pressure on our pretty selves. We are all independent, smart and warm hearted women with a ridiculous amount of freedom we never had to fight for, thanks to generations of greater women that preceded us. We can do and say whatever we want, hang out with whoever we choose, give kisses to whomever we are attracted. Why are we so dissatisfied?
I can only speak for myself, but I think most of us often feel we’re not expressing our true selves professionally or artistically or intellectually, whatever any of that means. We fear that others are watching and we are afraid of being judged. But if there’s something I’ve learned in my 30 years it’s that NO ONE CARES. The rest of the world doesn’t care if you haven’t finished college or hold a masters degree; if you’re overweight, cut carbs or are a vegetarian; if you don’t want to have children or are dying to be a mother; No one cares if you don’t dye your hair, get pedicures or have crow’s feet. There’s not one entity called ‘the rest of the world’ who is watching and judging and expecting you to be perfect: that is all in your head.
So instead of obsessing about things I want to change in 2011 in order to feel I’m getting closer to that perfection, I decided that I will celebrate what I’ve accomplished in 2010 and flip a finger to all my worries, my fear of getting old, my self consciousness about my career, and the horrific idea that I may never find a life partner. To hell with all that! I opt to save myself the frustration I’ll feel in a couple of months when I realize my room is still a mess, I haven’t lost any pounds, I have no better job on sight and I have not been training for that half marathon. No resolutions this time. Life is here, right now. Be present with me.
I hope a couple of you can relate to this, but if not, no regrets; sharing is caring, and I care about every single one of you. My life would not be the same without you women. I wish you all a very happy new year and I hope you remain in my life exactly the way you are.’