As vain as it may seem, to say that I’ve been looking at myself long and hard in the mirror the last few weeks would be a huge understatement. I’ve been struggling and the only way out of the dark spot I let myself get clouded under, is to face the friggin’ mirror, and stare sincerely and wide open.
It’s been an anxious and negative couple of months inside this head. Inside this heart. And I’ve been at it alone. I can complain, sure. And I have. And I have a beautiful support system for such trying times. But with some shaken foundations and a dismantled direction, I haven’t been able to keep focus. I haven’t been able to see through the cracks, to the Light. To the Good. A person is what he does. And I’ve been a negative person.
This is not me. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m positive, happy, light. So this self reflection has been quite an interesting task. It’s been like taking a picture of yourself in front of a mirror of you taking a picture of yourself in front of a mirror.
We are all flawed. We all make mistakes. We all can get ugly. We all can also focus on the beauty and in turn, be beautiful ourselves. It’s all about how you chose to focus.
And I’ve been skewed on my focus. I’ve let negative situations weigh me down. I’ve let communication get cut off. Let my sharpness get dull. And I’ve become a different Jackie Lovato. And I’m here to publicly apologize for such a shift. I have not been all the me I can be, and I’m sorry.
And I’m also here to publicly submit that no one’s perfect. It’s okay to be low…for a little while. Subject yourself to your experiences and feel them. Love them. Because the bad experiences make us beautiful. The conflict creates in us different people than if we’d showed up at the end an easier way. And to be totally cliche, every ending is a new beginning. Learn to appreciate the ending of one chapter, and then happily start the next. That’s how we can roll with the change. That’s how we grow.
So I’m totally busy growing right now, peeps. Professionally. Photographically. Personally. Perpetually. And the focus on the Goodness is coming back. I’m busy cleaning my mirrors and busy getting a pair of glasses to focus better. And I think you should get busy too.